史上最全Murphy定律中英版

一个白痴

Murphy定律一开始只是几个句子而已，后来不同的人为它添加内容，积累起来有很多，这是最全的了

若一件好事好到几乎不可能是真的，那么真的就不可能轮到你。
这辈子不再见你，因为再见的不是你。
消极的人说：山里人都不穿鞋子，所以没市场。积极的人说：山里人都没鞋子穿，应该是个大市场。
政治家与政客的区别：是从事政治活动的人分别给自己与对手用的名词。
小国对人民贫穷的解释：人口太少；大国对人民贫穷的解释：人口太多。
最有效果的激励：犯一个错你就玩儿完。
玩扑克时，赢得大声说笑话，输得高声喊“发牌！”。
你自己觉得哪张照片还不错，可是所有的朋友都对你说：不像你。
别人花钱的食物吃起来味道总是好些。
留意送给别人的礼物；当他们死后，很可能会遗赠给你。
在很冷的气温中脱下右手的手套，总是会发现钥匙在左边口袋里。
若任何声明可以被扭曲报导，能使社会及经济不安的，它将会被扭曲。
若发现你比你的律师更精明，那就是找错了律师。
若自认你的工作表现完美无缺，并不证明你工作优秀，祇不过是你的标准不够高。
如果你走得够慢、够久，你将再度领先。（别人已领先一圈，又绕到你后面了）
他不比你聪明——但他比较能令人信服。
无论你事情做得多么好，总是会有人不高兴。
你今天还在批评的人，或许明天将会是你的上级。
犯错是人性，将错误怪罪对方乃是政治。
生产力定律——工作应该更精明，而不是更辛勤。
若觉得自己不够称职，可能确实是如此。
人是活在主观意识中的动物 。
“好自为之！”可能是你给别人最糟糕的意见。
若你想找寻不成熟的的感觉，打电话给妈妈。
千万不要询问你不想知道答案的问题。
若想讨好你的上司，就把别人所做成的事归功于他。
冷战时期，苏联人和美国人一样可以站在自己首都大街痛骂美国总统，所以都是言论非常自由的国家。
没钱的人说：我省下一趟坐出租车的钱，就可以多搭几次公汽。有钱的人说：我省下几次挤公汽的钱，就可以享受一次出租车的舒服。
不要在打电话时跟别人说话，否则电话接通时，就忘了要找的是谁或是忘了要说什么。
提供你考虑;——暂时由你负全责。
凡是掉了东西进马桶，东西的价值与掉进马桶的机率成正比。
一个深奥的真理反面，通常是另一个深奥的真理。
不要崇拜名人,他和他LPML的动作和任何人没什么区别.
伟大的发现都是不小心发现的。
千万不要让自己成为不可取代的，因为不可取代就不可能升迁。
若你在取舍之间无法决定——放弃吧！
解决问题不能用制造问题的思维想方式。
什么是「药」？——就是利用白老鼠的反应而产生医学报告的产品。
准确，就是把所有错误都纠正后的总和。
错误没有正确的做法。
必须永远假设你的假设无效。
让事情越简单越好，笨蛋！
若一个方法笨而有效，那它就不笨。
对于别人好的忠告，唯一方式就是转送他人。这玩意儿对自己从来就没有什么用处。
永远不要召来敌火，那会得罪你身边所有的人。
若有怀疑，你最好先射光弹匣再说。
我们可能应该原谅敌人，不过先干掉他们再说不迟。
相同的错误犯第二次时，你什么都没学会（第一次犯错你已学会了一次教训）。
计算机是不会错的，只是软件老出问题。
当你拥有后，反而会减少它的价值感，并且是立即体现。
要不动脑去想，什么都有道理。
国家越小，办理签证手续越复杂。
若是经过充分周密计画的任何事，结果将不会发生。
问题愈复杂，限期却愈短。
首先给人一分好印象，胜过在后面十分努力的表现。
有你喜欢的花色，偏偏没有适合你的尺寸；有你喜欢的花色，也有了适合你的尺寸，试穿却又不合身；有你喜欢的花色，试穿也合身，价格买不起；花色、尺寸、价钱统统都满意了，结果第一次穿出去就绷线。
若想理解一分钟有多长？这要看你是蹲在厕所里面，还是在厕所外面等。
你早到，会议却被取消。你准时到，却还要等。迟到，你就是迟到。
找东西，往往是找到不是正想找的东西。
排队时另一排总是移动的比较快，当你跑到另一排时，原来排的那一队就会开始移动的比较快。你排的越久，越有可能是排错了队。
事故发生的地点越远，伤亡的人数就必须越多，否则不是一个好故事。
打开一罐蚯蚓,再想装回去的唯一办法就是换一个大一点的罐子.
新买的领带喜欢吃番茄酱.
如果一片涂了果酱的面包从手里掉下去,先接触地毯的一面一定是有果酱的那一面.
若帮过一个急需钱的朋友，他一定会记住你——尤其在他下次急需钱的时候。
笑一笑，明天未必比今天好。
好的开始，未必有好的结果。坏的开始，结果往往会更坏。
有能力的——请他。没能力的——教他。不会做事——管理他。
你爱的人，你觉得爱上他（她）是因为；他（她）让你想起老情人。
千万别跟傻蛋争吵，旁人会搞不清楚，到底谁是傻蛋!
请让我勤俭和有毅力，但不是现在。
谁见过胖子领导过革命？
推销时最有说服力的语言“注意这个！”。
辩论时间的长短与问题的重要程度成反比。
在过去的时间里，你买了数不清多少的笔，但在电话旁边永远少一枝。
若事情进行的异常顺利，你可能已误入歧途。
如果一个设想成功了，第一个邀功的人就是由始至终强调它行不通的人。
若你等迟到的人等得不耐烦，去洗手间方便一下，那家伙没准就到了。
我们永远也到不了上帝许诺的圣地，若真能到达，那里就不再是圣地了。
在真的成为更高级别人员之前，最好不要尝试幻想你已是高级人员。
在公司生存的第一条法则——让你上级的上级不要骑在你上级的头上。
匆忙的原因是误时，相反，误时的原因是匆忙。
只要有人出钱，就会有人出力。
在任何机构里，如果你希望有所作为的话，祇有两类人可以接触——最高层的人员及最低层的人们。
最简单的解释——它实在没有道理。
一个政客在当选前能解决一切的问题。
大家都打算做事，大家也都做了，可是没有一个人做的是他当初打算做的事。
不要去反对被替换。如果你不能替换，你就不能升迁。
今天唯一赚钱的人，就是那些销售与计算机有关的人。
最好的人与最坏的人创造历史，平庸之辈延续历史。
若你清楚知道自己正在做甚么，也许你就会讨厌了。
永远不要作预测，因为如果你错了，没有人会忘记；如果你对了，没有人会记得。
使用剪刀前，先多量两次，因为你只有剪一次的机会。
现代婚姻可维持的时间，与亲家的距离远近成正比。
蠢材都会绘画，但要聪明人才能卖掉。
放在口袋的钱最容易被花光。
当事情完结之后，自然一切都好办。
并不是因为你会作某种事，就表示你能靠其生活。
确认的希望产生否定的结果；否定的希望也产生否定的结果
除非你真的希望上帝出现，否则绝对不要祈求上帝，因为这样会打扰他老人家。
创作的确伟大，但抄书快的多。
无论什么计划，若只是意见是不会完成的。（意见是别人的，事情不会成功的）
第二次被驴踢到时，你学不到任何的东西，但证明了你是一个笨蛋！（因为第一次被驴踢到时，你已尝到了一次教训）
问题越复杂，限期会越短。
若想受欢迎，就积极帮别人的坏习惯找个好理由。
蠢人和他的钱财到处都受欢迎的。
自我提高是没有方向性的。
千万不要问一个你本来就不想知道答案的问题。
无论是多么简单的名字，都难在电话里说清楚。
若某件事已进行得差不多完成时，就有人会过来改变它——弄得一塌糊涂。
若你听说原则上同意时，这表示实际上没有实际行动的意思。
若在社交场合有疑问时，热烈握手。
若大家的想法都差不多时，显示没有一个人是在认真地思考。
若想成名，照着记者的话去做。
年老的优点——任何时候遇到的女性都比你年轻。
有钱未必快乐！但没钱一定不快乐！
计算机从来不发生故障，是软件设计者总是有问题。
充分设计、规划的事，都不会发生。（发生的都是未经周密规划的事）
省一分钱等于赚了一分钱。
就第一印象来说，你绝不可能有第二次机会。
需要别人翻译的菜谱，小心你是买不了单的。
面对不用负责任的事较容易作出决定。
宁愿缺席不要迟到。
再多的零还是零。
千万不要试教猪唱歌；既浪费你的时间，猪又不高兴。
无论你是否作了一个决定，那就是你的一个决定。
人们宁愿被一个不能解决的问题困扰，而不愿接受一个不能了解的答案。
失败的人有两种：一种是不听任何人的话；另一种是任何人的话都听。
科技被两种人控制：一种是了解科技但不管理者，另一种是管理科技但不了解者。
成功的定义：站起来的次数要比被打倒多一次。
钱不是万能的，比如：它不是充分足够时。
千万不要说你不知道——莫测高深地点点头，悄悄地离开，飞快地跑去请教专家。
若必须在无知与愚蠢之间作选择，应该选择无知！它还有希望治好。
忍耐是个优点，但绝等不到公鸡生蛋。
若可以拖到后天的事儿，可不要只拖到明天。
若你在两者之间无法作决定时，选便宜的准没错儿。
若你能找到所有人都同意的事，这事一定是错的。
若你想让人生气，就骗他；若你想要他愤怒，就说真话。
若你只实验一次就把事儿给做对了，显然你某个地方是做错了。
若一个人对你说“不是钱的问题，而是原则的问题”，我敢打赌六比一是钱的问题。
在实验室里几个月相当于在图书馆里的几小时。
大学里累积了许多知识：每个新生入学时都带一点进来，到毕业时没带走什么，大学里的知识就这样累积起来了。
若无法说服对方，就把对方搞胡涂。
若有可能出错，就一定会出错。

一个白痴

Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Mother nature is a ***.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Murphy's Law of Copiers
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
Murphy's Law of the Open Road:
When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value


Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Law of the Perversity of Nature (Mrs. Murphy's Corollary):
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Corollary (Jenning):
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Commentaries

Hill's Commentaries on Murphy's Laws
If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care.
If we have nothing to lose by change, relax.
If we have everything to gain by change, relax.
If it doesn't matter, it does not matter.
O'Toole's Commentary
Murphy was an optimist.
NBC's Addendum to Murphy's Law
You never run out of things that can go wrong.


Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.


You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
All's well that ends.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
New systems generate new problems.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
The only perfect science is hind-sight.
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Everything that goes up must come down.
Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.


All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1)
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great

一个白痴

bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys(girls) finish last.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.


The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The younger the better.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Love comes in spurts.
The world does not revolve on an axis.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."

一个白痴

Murphy定律军事版
Cannonical Murphy‘s Laws of Combat
战斗中的墨菲定律
1. Friendly fire - isn‘t.
友军火力－不友好
2. Recoilless rifles - aren‘t.
无后坐力炮－有后坐
3. Suppressive fires - won‘t.
压制火力－没用
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
你不是超人；海军陆战队和战斗机驾驶员一点要注意
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature‘s way of telling you to slow down.
该死的胸部伤口是自然告诉你该停下来的办法
6. If it‘s stupid but it works, it isn‘t stupid.
如果一个蠢方法有效，那它就不是一个蠢方法
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
尽力使自己看上去不重要，敌人可能子弹不多，不想在你身上浪费
8. If at first you don‘t succeed, call in an air strike.
只要攻击没能成功，呼叫空袭支援
9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
每当你要攻击前进时，炮兵往往也快要用完了炮弹
10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
别和比你勇敢的战友躲在同一个散兵坑里。
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
别和比你疯狂的人一起睡觉
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
别忘了你手上的武器是由最低价的承包商制造的
13. If your attack is going really well, it‘s an ambush.
如果你的攻击进行得很顺利，那一定是你中了圈套
14. The enemy diversion you‘re ignoring is their main attack.
那支你以为是敌军疑兵而不加注意的部队恰恰就是敌人的攻击主力
15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When they‘re ready. b. When you‘re not.
敌人总在两种情况下发动攻击：1.他们准备好的时候。2.你没准备好的时候
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
没有行动计划在最初的交火后还管用
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
没有什么完美的计划
18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
所有五秒的手榴弹引线都会在三秒内烧完
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
散兵坑内没有无神论者
20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
逃跑的敌人可能只是后退进行整编
21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
重要的事总是简单的；简单的事总是难作到
22. The easy way is always mined.
好走的路总是有了地雷
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
齐心协力是必要的；这样敌人就有了其他的射击目标（他们不一定打你了）
24. Don‘t look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as
bomb magnets.
不要太显眼，因为那会引来对方火力攻击。因此，航母被称作“炸弹磁铁”就不奇怪了
25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
不要吸引敌人火力；这会激怒你周围的所有人
26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
如果你除了敌人什么都缺，那你在交战区域内了
27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
你攻占一个地区后，确保敌人也知道
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
飞来的子弹有优先通行权。（挡它的道你就要倒大楣！）
29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
从没有一支完成战备的单位能通过校阅
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
从没有一支准备好检阅的部队能活过战斗
31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
如果敌人正在你的射程内，别忘了你也在他的射程内。
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
唯一比敌人火力还精确的是友军打过来的炮火
33. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
必须要装配在一起才能发挥效力的武器装备不能一起运送
34. Things that must work together, can‘t be carried to the field that way.
必须要装配在一起才能发挥效力的武器不能被一起运到战场
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
无线电通讯总是在你急需火力支援时失灵
36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both
雷达总是在晚上和坏天气时失灵，尤其是在两者都发生的时候
37. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
你作的任何事都可能导致你翘辫子 -- 包括你什么都不做
38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won‘t be able to get out.
当你防守严密到敌人攻不进来时，那往往你自己也打出不去
39. Tracers work both ways.
曳光弹可以帮你找到敌踪；但也会让敌人找到你
40. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
如果你多报战功，那下次你会被给予超过你能力的目标让你去打
41. When both sides are convinced they‘re about to lose, they‘re both right.
当两军都觉得自己快输时，那他们可能都是对的
42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
专业士兵的行为是你能预测的；战场上充满了业余人员
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
“军事情报”一词中的军事和情报是矛盾的
44. Fortify your front; you‘ll get your rear shot up.
加强前线，你的后方就会遭到攻击
45. Weather ain‘t neutral.
天气不是中立的
46. If you can‘t remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
如果你记不清楚，你安放的claymore（定向地雷）是冲着自己的
47. Air defense motto: shoot ‘em down; sort ‘em out on the ground.
防空座右铭：先把飞机打下来，在地面上区分是敌是友
48. ‘Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it‘ll go‘.
飞的高，死的快；飞的又低又慢，就能完成目标
49. The Cavalry doesn‘t always come to the rescue.
骑士不会来拯救公主
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
燃烧汽油弹是作用于区域的武器
51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
地雷是机会均等的武器
52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
B52是终极近距支援武器
53. Sniper‘s motto: reach out and touch someone.
狙击手座右铭：出去，打死点人
54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
“为和平进行杀戮”这句话就像骗处女上床的话一样
55. The one item you need is always in short supply.
你需要的物品总是很缺乏
56. Interchangeable parts aren‘t.
“可互换”的零件总是名不副实
57. It‘s not the one with your name on it; it‘s the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you‘ve got to think about.
（不明白）
58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
有疑问的时候，先打空你的弹夹再说
59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
制服最简单的一方获胜
60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
战斗会在两张地图交会的地方展开
61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
如果排长可以看见你，敌人也行
62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
能坐着的时候绝不要站着，能躺着的时候绝不要坐着，能睡着的时候绝不要醒着，
63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
世上最可怕的东西是一个有地图和罗盘的少尉（他们擅长纸上谈兵）
64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
例外证明这条规则摧毁战斗计划
65. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel‘s HQ.
所有东西都在你的总部有效，在上校的总部失效
66. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
你犯错误前敌人不会注意到你
67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
一个敌人士兵永远不够，两个就太多了
68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU‘s is a magnet for mud and rain.
清洁干净的显示设备吸引泥和雨
69. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
天气越差，你被派出值勤的时间越多
70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can‘t hit the broad side of a barn.
你有足够弹药的时候，你百发百中。你缺弹药的时候，连谷仓的宽边那么大的东西都打不中
71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
武器越贵，修理的时候送的越远
72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon‘s operator.
武器的复杂度和操作者的智商成反比
73. Field experience is something you don‘t get until just after you need it.
战地经验这东西，你只有在某次很需要它的行动之后你才能获得
74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
不管你从哪条路线行军，都是上坡路
75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
如果收集到了足够的资料，调查委员会什么事都可以证明
76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
在大本营，对每一个行动都有赞成与反对两种评判
77. Air strikes

一个白痴

always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
空袭总打在目标后面，炮火总是太近
78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
当你查看你写下的无线电频率的时候，最重要的总是无法辨认
79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
在炮火下犹豫的人通常不会KIA或WIA
80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don‘t know what they want, but they know for certain what they don‘t want.
做军官最辛苦的一点是，士兵不知道他们想要什么，只知道他们不想要什么
81. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering
intelligence.
从一个人那里偷取信息叫剽窃。从敌人那里偷取信息叫搜集情报
82. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
在你最需要它的时候总是卡壳的武器是M60（机枪）
83. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
最适合一个工作的军官总是在这个职位已经被别人占据后一天调来
85. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
最新最没经验的士兵最可能获得荣誉奖章（美国最高级勋章）
86. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to
survive.
紫心勋章（美国授予受伤士兵的勋章）证明你聪明到可以想出一个计划，愚蠢到常识这个计划，并且幸运到活了下来
87. Murphy was a grunt.
墨菲是个猛男？？？？（这句话我不甚了了）
88. Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
啤酒数学：2杯啤酒乘37个人等于49种情况
89. Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
战果数学：3个游击队员＋一个可能是的＋2头猪＝行动中打死37个敌人
90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
手雷爆炸的范围总是比你一跳能跳出的距离多一英尺
91. All-weather close air support doesn‘t work in bad weather.
全天候近距空中支援在坏天气不管用
92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
单位的战斗效能与它外观的好看程度成反比
93. The crucial round is a dud.
至关重要的炮弹总是哑弹
95. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
从没有离的近的散兵坑（需要散兵坑的时候，它们总是太远）
97. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
如果你的阵地有很好的工事而且你也准备好敌人的攻击，敌人会绕过你
98. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won‘t walk into it.
如果你准备好了一次伏击，敌人不会进入你的伏击圈
99. If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
如果你的侧翼行军进行的很顺利，敌人正期待着你的这个行为
100. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
对目标的火力密度与目标的新奇程度成正比
101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
奇怪的物体吸引炮火 － 不要躲在这种东西后面
103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness
长官的自大程度与他的官职成反比（还有他的不值得信任程度和有害程度）
104. There is always a way, and it usually doesn‘t work.
总会有一个办法，但是它总是不管用
105. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
成功总是没人看到，将军在关注的行动总会失败
106. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
敌人直到你用不安全频道发广播为止，敌人都不会监听你的无线电频率
107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
如果你交火中掉了装备，你的弹药和手雷一定离你最远，而水壶总是掉在你的脚边
108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
战场上，你只要搞到热的吃的，总是要下雨
109. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
不要告诉排长你无事可做
111. Walking point = sniper bait.
可行的路线 ＝ 狙击手的诱饵
112. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
你夜间的野营地是你白天行军累了的地方
113. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
如果一个战场上的问题只有一种解决方案，这一定是个愚蠢的方案
115. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.
在低军衔能让你升官的行为会在新军衔杀死你
116. If orders can be misunderstood they will be.
如果命令可能被误解，它一定会被误解
117. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
奇怪的东西吸引炮火。你就是奇怪的
118. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud.
迫击炮弹幕只有一发能命中目标，这一发是哑弹
119. Mine fields are not neutral.
雷场不是中立的
120. The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it.
装备的重量与你需要扛着它的时间成正比
122. If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap.
如果你急需见到一个军官，打个盹
123. The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it.
投掷武器的杀伤半径总比一般士兵能扔的距离大
128. When you have sufficient ammo the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on ammo the enemy attacks that night.
你弹药充足的时候，敌人两个礼拜也不进攻；你缺弹药的时候，敌人马上就进攻
129. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
军需官那里只有两个号的东西：太大的和太小的
130. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
压制火力唯一管用的时候是用来对付废弃的阵地的时候
131. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring, he has fallen back too far.
如果一个前线士兵无意中听到两个参谋在讨论，他后退的太远了
132. Don‘t ever be the first, don‘t ever be the last, and don‘t ever volunteer to do anything.
不要做第一个，也不要做倒数第一个，更不要志愿干什么事
133. If at first you don‘t succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn‘t for you.
如果你进攻失败，轰炸计划不是帮你忙的
134. Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
所有船只都可以当扫雷艇......一次性的
135. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
如果你失去了敌人的踪迹，看后面
136. If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don‘t.
如果你在你的连队之前，他们知道一些你不知道的事
137. The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
交火后，受伤的严重程度与到掩体的距离成反比
138. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
指挥官越蠢，他被命令执行的任务越重要
139. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.
拔下引线之后，手榴弹先生就不是你的朋友了
140. All or any of the above combined.
以上任意规则的综合

一个白痴

美军士兵手册murphy版

美军士兵手册 （中英双语对照）
1. You are not a superman.
你不是超人。（不要无谓的冒险、不要做傻事）

2. If it’s stupid but works，it isn’t stupid.
如果一个蠢方法有效，那它就不是一个蠢方法。

3.Don’t look conspicuous - it draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called “Bomb Magnets”.)
不要太显眼，因为那会引来对方火力攻击。（这就是航母被称为“炸弹磁铁”的原因。）

4. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
别和比你勇敢的战友躲在同一个散兵坑里。

5. Never forget that the lowest bidder made your weapon.
别忘了你手上的武器是由最低价的承包商得标制造的。

6. If your attack is going really well，it’s an ambush.
如果你的攻击进行得很顺利，那一定是你中了圈套。

7. All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.
所有五秒的手榴弹引线都会在三秒内烧完。

8. Try to look unimportant because bad guys may be low on ammo.
尽量显得是一个无关紧要的人，因为敌人可能弹药不够了。（他会先打最重要的人）

9. If you are forward of your position，the artillary will fall short.
每当你要攻击前进时，炮兵往往也快要用完了炮弹。

10. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
那支你以为是敌军疑兵而不加注意的部队恰恰就是敌人的攻击主力。

11. The important things are always simple.
重要的事总是简单的。

12. The simple things are always hard.
简单的事总是难作到。

13. The easy way is always mined.
好走的路总是已被敌军布上了地雷。

14. If you are short of everything except enemy. You are in combat.
如果你除了敌人不缺，其它什么都缺，那你往往就要面临作战了。

15. Incoming fire has the right of way.
飞来的子弹有优先通行权。（挡它的道你就要倒大楣！）

16. If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU!!!
如果敌人正在你的射程内，别忘了你也在他的射程内。

17. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspections.
从没有一支完成战备的单位能通过校阅。

18. Things that must be together to work usually can’t be shipped together.
必须要装配在一起才能发挥效力的武器装备通常不会一起运来。

19. Radio’s will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
无线电通讯会有可能在你急需火力支援时失灵。

20. Anything you do can get you shot - including doing nothing.
你作的任何事都可能挨枪子儿 -- 包括你什么都不做。

21. Tracers work both ways.
曳光弹可以帮你找到敌踪；但也会让敌人找到你。

22. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
唯一比敌人火力还精确的是友军打过来的炮火。（误射）

23. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can’t get out.
当你防守严密到敌人攻不进来时，那往往你自己也打出不去。

24. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
如果你多报战功，那下次你会被给予超过你能力的目标让你去打。（自讨苦吃）

25. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
当两军都觉得自己快输时，那他们可能都是对的。

26. Professional soldiers are predictable but the world is full of amateurs.
专业士兵的行为是你能预测的，可惜战场上业余的士兵占多数，因此敌人的行为大部分是你所无法预测的。